I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
