She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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