I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
