and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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