i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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