i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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