He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
