Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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