I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
