something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
