Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
