I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
