What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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