so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
