i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The beer is more important than you right now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
