apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
