i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
