Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
