I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
