Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
