Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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