Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
