i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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