please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
