I looked at my own cervix.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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