no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
