HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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