new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
