She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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