Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
