she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
