oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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