Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
