she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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