1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
