Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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