I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
