She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
