ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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