I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
