Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
