i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
