I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
