I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
