What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
