Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
