In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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