My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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