ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
