hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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